Breeks 

Navy blue breeks, bocht at the co-op drapery.
Industrial strength elastic, awa tae the primary scuil happit up lik a wash hoose spicket.
Braw breeks, Christmas breeks, breeks adorned wi bows.
Breeks fir each day o the week.
Toastie in terry towelling richt up tae yir oxter breeks,
Haud up yir tights breeks,Tuck in yir simmet breeks.
Fresh cotton bin oot oan the rope breeks.
Haund me doon, mibbe no even yir ain breeks.
Drive ye roon the bend, huv tae pu thaim oot yir bahookie whin naebodys leukin breeks.
Ping the elastic breeks.
Breeks tae let the air in. 
Clean, in case ye get knocked doon breeks.

Big lassie breeks, 
Bikini breeks, 
Match yir bra breeks, 
Breeks wi nae VPL, 
High legged breeks, 
Lift yir cheeks an mak ye leuk lik Kim Kardashian breeks.

In case ye get lucky breeks, 
Racy lacy toatie wee breeks,
Wan piece body suit fasten atween the legs breeks,
French knickers tae match yir camisole top breeks,
Ooh … richt up the sheuch o yir erse breeks.

Pure white, butter widnae melt in yir mooth, waddin nicht breeks.

Ten year mairrit, bin tae an Anne Summers pairty breeks;
 Thong breeks, 
G-string breeks, 
Silky breeks, 
Satin breeks, 
Suspender breeks, 
Crotchless breeks, 
Show aff yir sequinned vagissil breeks, 
Match yir furry haundcuffs breeks, 
Velcro fasten rip thim aff wi yir teeth breeks,
 Vvvvvvvv…vibrating breeks! 
BREEKS YE CAN EAT !!

Thong higher than yir low slung jeans breeks. 
Roll doon unner yir bump breeks. 
Haud ye in breeks. 
Belly warmers. 
Don't. Even. Think aboot it. Breeks. 
Aa the same colour o grey breeks. 
Need twa pegs tae hing thim oot oan the rope breeks.

Whit’s yon stuck doon the inside o my trooser leg?
Aw naw it's yesterday's breeks!
Haud up yir tights breeks,
Tuck in yir simmet breeks,
Tuck in yir breists breeks.
Awa tae draw yir pension happit up lik a wash hoose spicket breeks.
A chynge o breeks,
Breeks fir the hospital.
Bloomers.

 

Tracy Anne Harvey